A good friend of mine tossed me a few intriguing articles from Ms. Blog today that really hit home about two things. First, the articles addressed the, in my opinion, under-discussed topic of sexual objectification of women in both the media and more soberingly within the female community. I was alarmed by the realization that we (ladies) often do scrutinize each other with a similarly harmful gaze of objectification, critique and worst of all, of competition. Rather than supporting each other and banding together against current male-directed and porn-inspired standards of beauty and behavior, we pressure each other into conforming ever more readily to these very poisonous standards. Let’s try to be aware of this trap and turn down the cattiness as we rev the old school girl power.
Secondly, the articles offered simple ways of breaking out of self-objectification practices that derive from (and simultaneously feed) our image-obsessed culture that occupies a crushingly large amount of female-brain space with thoughts of treadmills, foundation, waist size, diet coke super packs, upper arm fat, bikini lines, and split ends (all things that have bounced around regularly in my own glob of neurons). Instead of immediately checking the degree of abdomen or facial bloat first thing in the morning, Ms. Blog suggests sitting comfortably in your skin, fat allowed to freely sprawl in any direction. I’d go as far as to say, try sitting only in your skin (especially when tempted to start criticizing it). Admiring the health and beauty of your body: skin, nails, fat muscles, joints, hair, freckles (and whatever else you find). The point is to be present with yourself instead of lighting into yourself with self-hatred and disappointment as if your poor body weren’t a part of you! Dragging along with you on those lonely, directionless days. Right there in your shoes when you get home from a long day. With you when you relax in a steamingly hot shower after a night out. And all the times in between… In fact, that bag of skin you’re sitting in right now as you read this– that’s the only constant for the rest of your life. I figure, we might as well treat it as well as we can. And we might as well stop the incessant “self-monitoring” (as Ms. Blog suggests). Regardless of what some random-ass penis wearing human on the street thinks of our skirt length or our blackheads or our boisterous laugh or our natural swagger. Ladies, lets take another look at our “selves” and give that miraculous machine of bone, blood, muscle, fat and ten million emotions, as much consideration (and maybe even more) as we give the random semi-cute guy we see on the elevator who really probably doesn’t even give a shit that he just let one rip as you got on.
Here is the first of a four part series about sexual objectification from Ms. (magazine) Blog:
http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2012/07/03/sexual-objectification-part-1-what-is-it/
Dear Best Friend, you are an amazing writer. It figures that I love the last (and weirdest) part of your blog today!! I believe in your weirdness (I got that from the Katy Perry movie commercial!).
OMG ew did someone really do that in palladium? gross. you could always bring that febreeze bottle in your purse when you head out…This was a fabulous read before bed. Bags of skin, we are. Smiles, laughs, tears…grins, cackles, weeping…however our unique lives spills out of these bags of machinery–i say (like you do) GO WITH IT. Whoever gave you that rockin hourglass shape did it on purpose…why fret if size 26 isn’t REALLY your size? Whoever made your nose blaringly asymmetrical also did it on purpose…why fret if it flares unevenly when you (as my little cousin says) ‘gufaw’? We are not accidents. Our “imperfections” are not mistakes or the result of some kind of irresponsibility, some kind of laziness…they are the most holy of places…our asymmetry, belly pooches, blackheads, cowlicks….they are THE reminder of the only truth that I have ever been sure of. Flawless is synonymous with artificial. To be human is to be far from artificial. Lets think folks….when we have synthetic X…it’s an attempt to “make” X as best as we can seeing as X naturally exists without a scientist flipping the light switch in her lab. We exist naturally…uneven boobs, unibrows, frizzy-haired and all. There is no HUMAN 2.0. We are already glorious inventions. Now then, shall we bask in the existence of our own inexplicable creation…and stop trying to tweak it to fit some synthetic standard (that by its very counterfeit nature…must be inferior)? I think I will.
*spill